Breakdown

Pretending not too know?


I'm unhappy as I sit here and write this blog. I don't know what to write about as I have no focus to discuss anything somewhat personal to myself. The only person able to trust in life, is yourself, and even then and sometimes you are bound to break that trust as friendship sounds sweet. Every rose has its thorn, poison had it right.


But november rain holds the answers to it all and to me, is the key to working through my indefinate problems. I can handle being ignored, but I cannot handle moods and sulking very well. It's an attention seeking emotion, and if you get pulled into the sob and give them the pathetic sympathy they want, they win. You've lost the fight. Others will take it as caring and you want to help the one hurt, but I haven't ever seen it this way. I'd really like to know why though. But it's the same with myself, I neither like attention drawn to myself or have others pity me. I don't need to be pittied, EVER!

F.I.N.E
F - fucked up
I - Insecure
N - Neurotic
E - Emotional


Always remember this, and whenever somebody gives you the answer of fine, this is what they really mean.

Girls of Summer

It's hard, you know? Your constantly fighting for a break, just alone time but all it does is run further and further from you. As God is testing your strength of a human being and how long it will take you to crack. I won't break in and I'll keep on fighting this war inside not only myself but the social community around me.

Your friends are always there for you, but sometimes what if they are there too much, how do you break this bond slightly, not to harm but to relax before you snap and release all the contempt you have for figures in your life.

Your significant other is far away, not that he cares though, although the amounts of time you've screamed you'd think he'd care slightly too. But no, he is just like all the rest, they love the attention they get from others, they feed on it. But must always feel like judgement is upon them, try telling me this is normal? I'm all for gossip, as I love too rant and complain about victims in my sight who pass my path and crowd it with undermeaningful words, for which I care nothing about.

You find it hard enough as it is living through life, but the second you get that freedom so fucking longed for, a figure crowds the picture, must feeling left out and wants to join the gang. Maybe there own life sucks although freedom found them long ago, they see you happy and content with others and feels the need to barge into private life. Internetal technology does not help the situation but merely becomes a breeding ground for rage and unwanted attention.

So as you pack your things, for the next day of grim torture, you think how will i survive this day?